TUBETASTIC BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a fine thursday morning. A trio consisting of Mattie B, Chris the penis and Gabrielle the doctor strutted down the street towards the adventure guide store. "Three tubes baby" I said. A few minutes later we were piled in a tuk tuk and were cruising down the main drag....... if you can call it that, more like a bit of road in between holes. Into the river with shouts and hoots the tubes were hurled and accordingly our bodies took to the warm tropical water. Well two minutes later and around one hundred metres of floating we were pulled onto a stage made of bamboo and got handed a beer lao and a cup of nasty local whisky called "LAO LAO". This whisky tastes like arse mixed with sweaty butt cheeks! Anyway after downing the lot I managed to grab some courage from somewhere (probably the Lao Lao) and proceeded up the bamboo ramp towards the jumping platform. "Backwards flip fellas" I said. A few seconds later i landed in the river full speed but to my surprise I had made it. Not bad for a six metre drop. I then got super cocky.....damn that lao lao, and i climbed back up the ramp."Backwards aerial fellas" I said. BOOOOOOOYAAAAAA!!!! I landed on my side and felt a surge of pain hit my senses! I surfaced with a sore face, sore testicles and a sore ear which hasn't come right yet. Well that was enough of that and so we proceeded on down the river. Yeap, you guessed it. A hundred metres down the river we somehow were on another platform with Lao Lao in our hands......hmmmmm, damn these Laoisians and there passion for nasty whisky! A few hours and many intense conversations about microbiology with my good mate Gabrielle, the trio set forth onto the mild waters once again. The sun rapidly dissolved into the range of cliffs behind us and we found ourselves floating on a river, in a tube, in blackness....no need for panic boys!!!! We quickly paddled to the side and caught a tuk tuk back into town. For a whole days worth of floating we managed to make it about 500 metres down the river, good effort boys........twats! Was a memorable day and a great blast!