HOLY MOLY!

There is one word to describe the man made back fence known as the GREAT WALL OF CHINA! It was a quiet friday morning. I woke up feeling drunk to the slight knock on the door which was my wake up call. I looked at the watch and realised I'd only had three hours sleep and on pulling back the covers I realised I was somehow naked in my dorm room. After quickly feeling the ground for my grippers I proceeded to hide my "lads" and get a shirt on. I went down stairs, had a coffee and a bun and then was led onto a bus which had the destination GREAT WALL scribbled along the side of it....sweet is the only thought that came to mind. I found myself sitting next to a rather attractive english lassy and after saying "hello" I hung my head against the window and dozed into the unknown realms of my subconscience. On waking, due to the bus stopping for petrol, I had a long, long, long pee and bought a bottle of water for my mouth which felt like what I describe as the fur you sometimes find on fern trees. I got talking to the english lass who turned out to be only 19 years of age and on her second rampage around Asia. I remember saying "crykey" and I apologised swiftly and told her that my brain wasn't functioning properly. Still I was rather impressed by her boldness. We arrived at the gate, bought a ticket, met an Irish lad named Rory and we proceeded up a path that would lead us to the base of the great wall. We finally arrived, hoisted our arses up the side of the great wall and peered into the distance. I was absolutely astounded by the fact that as far as my eyes could see, the great wall stretched. An incredible feat, that's for sure. We got our wits together, closed our gaping mouths, stretched our calves and then began our 10 km strut along the great wall.....sweet. Mattie B did a huge strut for at least 10 meters in memory of the lads back home whilst my two companions looked on with expressions saying 'are all Kiwi's this bloody weird?' We walked, stumbled, climbed and said no to "beer, coke, water" from local people selling on the wall itself. The sun drifted through the sky and four hours later we arrived at the end of our journey for a spot of lunch before being herded back onto the bus. We got back to base camp at 8pm with great satisfaction and great memories of acting like plonkers on the great wall. We grabbed a 700ml Tsingtao for 50 cents NZ and proceeded to get amped before heading into town. That night we drank red bull and vodkas, tsingtao and a few shots. I was dancing heavily on the dance floor and as always making a complete ass of myself....loving life. That morning, hmmmm not quite morning, I woke up at 5pm and yelled out " HOLY MOLY!!!!!!!!"